It matters to this one

Careful what you call it

2012-02-29T20:25:00.000-06:00

I have few readers but just removed 12 junk comments. I changed the title of the last blog post perhaps to help. One day, not soon, I will put a filter on the blog so you can type in weird words to determine your humanity.

I am so glad tomorrow is March 1st.

Ode to a cold

2012-02-05T12:10:00.002-06:00

I have many, many hours of sick leave. I really just do not get colds very often. But when I do, I get a good one. On Thursday, my body overcame my general willfulness to be the person who doesn’t get sick and on Sunday, I am still sick. There does seem to be an edge of wellness creeping up.

I have read a book, We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson. I watched 7 episodes of Glee, I watched Mulan, twice, and Kung Fu Panda 2 once. I have eaten three cans of chicken noodle soup, homemade vegetable soup, a Filet O Fish sandwich, mint Milano cookies and a Preacher’s Parfait from the Merc. I have drank over 64 ounces of water, numerous cups of tea and a couple of grapefruit juice and vodkas. I have ingested much Vitamin C in various forms.

And I have blown my nose.

This fabulous box of Puffs, my tissue of choice, was 2/3 full on Thursday morning.

I am now going to look online for poetry dedicated to the cold.

a cat in a window

2012-01-08T14:48:00.005-06:00

I struggle with self-discipline. Here are good reasons why (justifications?):

1. I attended 20 elementary schools, K-6

2. I might have Attention Deficit Disorder

3. See 2 & 3

I am not lazy. Based on my career experience, I know this is true. I work very hard and am successful enough.

I am looking for good suggestions on how to create one area, outside of work and dental hygiene, in which I can successfully be self-disciplined.

Here is a picture of my Aunt and Uncle's cat in Mississippi.

Happy second week of January 2012.

Hello 2012 - or Is that really someone else's title that I like or am I just a copy cat with no true opinions of my own?

2012-01-01T12:24:00.010-06:00

Welcome to 2012. I have started the year. I ate carrot cake for breakfast and finished reading Tina Fey's Bossypants, which I recommend. I love to laugh out loud and this is a perfect book for that. You don't have to have watched SNL or 30 Rock to enjoy it. (Sorry Tina, I've actually never seen much of your work but I love your book!)

Last year sucked. Last year was also really great. No matter how bad life gets, I am NEVER very far from a place of complete gratitude for my life as it is. That gratitude, on occasion, manifests itself as joy. (Joy is always appropriately ephemeral – too much joy means you are off your meds.)

2011 was the year in which I finally thought to ask, “WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!” Out loud, without trying to change all of the elements of the situation and without trying to change my part of the situation. I just have watched, felt and wondered. I had many moments when all I could think about was Julie Roberts' character in Runaway Bride trying out different kinds of eggs to see which ones she likes. But that character is in her 30s at the latest. And I know what kind of eggs I like BUT WHAT ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE? I mean, REALLY?!?! I am writing this blog because my best friend Mary Beth started writing a blog. Hers is actually well-written, and even better, well read. And she started to write it in part because she liked to write and keep journals but did not want to prater on about herself like I am doing now. I've decided it will be ok though. It's like finding out which eggs I like but on a much larger scale, like what do I like to EVERYTHING. (Also, Mary Beth - hi! - is the only person who reads this consistently and I might need feedback.)

In 2011, in part because someone very dear to me kept saying to "look for patterns," I noticed lots of patterns. Bad patterns. Generational patterns. Scary generational patterns. It was like a few years ago, when trying on jeans at a store that has those three way mirrors, I saw my mother’s butt in the mirror. Which was really frightening because my mother was 150 miles away. I do not care for said patterns anymore than I care for said butt that, it turns out belongs, TO ME. It's not my fault, I couldn't see it and had no idea what was going on behind me. That is not necessarily true of these other patterns.

I have also been positively validated this year; that I have made many good decisions, raised amazing children, have worked very hard at my job and have contributed to my community.

2011 taught me that I am now a fully, fledged grown-up, who is still capable of making mistakes. (One day I will explain why it has taken me until I am 46 to feel like a full-fledged grown-up. I actually think I have even made this same statement before on this very blog. I am going to start to categorize the blogs. "Grown-up Now!" is going to be a category.)

In 2012 I will embrace the grown-up puzzle. I won’t finish it. I have too much ADD and lack impulse control. (This is also why this might be my first and last 2012 blog post.) But in 2012 when I move around the puzzle pieces and I put together two pieces that don’t fit, attempt to make them fit, look embarrassingly way from their stuck together awkwardness and then leave the puzzle for an unspecified too long of time, I will forgive myself. I will ACKNOWLEDGE that I made a mistake, realize that it is ok and move on.

2012 resolution and 2011 pictures

2011-12-30T19:47:00.005-06:00

I am going to upload some of my favorite California pictures. Even though they are about 6 months old, I have a lot of good ones. These are all about the girls including Faith's 18th birthday. Love these ladies!

My goals for 2012 are simple-get caught up, do more and move on. To do that I will be spending less money, more time traveling, more blogging, doing something more with the pictures I take and using the sewing machine I got from my mother for Christmas.

Happy 2012

I'm back

2011-10-23T21:04:00.003-05:00

It's been awhile I know.

Tonight I read something I wrote recently. I actually really liked it. It isn't for public consumption though.

And, while I don't have a lot to say tonight, I think I will try to take a few minutes each day to, in fact, write something.

In the meantime, here are two links: one to something I read that resonated with me and one to a blog Mary Beth (see older posts, or Hi MB, as you are my only reader at them moment anyway) introduced me to. I really like the post about their recent visit to the river. And pictures of course! I took them.

1) Resonated with me.

2) A new blog I read often

Pictures

Happy doesn't always mean life is great

2010-07-27T14:41:00.004-05:00

Let me start by saying (and I feel like I often start blog posts with this sentence) I am happier than I have ever been. My life is coming together in many ways. I love my job, I am enjoying and thriving in my romantic life. My children are absolutely amazing. And I truly have great support in my life. My mom is recovering from surgery though. So I am feeling a bit grumpy. She was diagnosed a little over a month ago with a Craniopharyngioma. The surgery went well but recovery is slow. And I am bored. I am not good at making use of downtime. Perhaps a blog post is in order but I really feeling like I'm so negative that despite all of my happiness, I don't want to write a blog post. None-the-less, here it is.

Perhaps later I will whine in more detail.

Fabulous Flea Market Purchases!

2010-05-07T08:19:00.003-05:00

I had such fun at the flea market. It is about 90 miles from Lawrence near the Nebraska border. There are actually two, one in White Cloud which is where we were headed and then one in Sparks which is where we ended up making most of our purchases.

White Cloud used to boast that it had the largest flea market. But it is hilly and the aging population among flea market goers makes the Sparks location, much flatter, the more popular of the two now.

These are the items I came home with ~

When I am in California I enjoy the benefit of Mary Beth's orange trees and fresh orange juice. My favorite part is eating the remaining orange after the juice has been squeezed out. Her juicer is much simpler but I was pleased to find this little counter top model - Juice O Mat.

The Pocket Pig holds dimes. I'm going to use it to keep change in my car for the parking meters in downtown Lawrence. The little bowl is metal, light blue with a dark blue rim. The larger bowl, the most expensive purchase at $15, is a Pyrex bowl with a delightful design of roosters, wheat and an "Amish" farm couple.

I also purchased (well, it was all bought for me actually, making it even better!) a small blue glass jar. It had a lid but it was cracked so I didn't even cart it home. And three more Pyrex pieces, a small, traditional brown bowl; a pink casserole dish with lid and a teal blue (color of the day I guess) container with lid divided into two sections. It is a little deeper than this one.

The pictures are taken with my BlackBerry. They are pretty good photos; my constant complaint being that the BlackBerry is a good camera, a good calendar and good at a lot except being a phone. It is not a good phone. Right now I don't have easy access to downloading pictures so there is also the added benefit that if I use my BlackBerry, I can email them to myself.

The flea market takes place twice a year and I am already excited about going in September. (That said, I am still downsizing and there will be fewer rather than more purchases!)

Wait for it...

2010-05-01T12:06:00.002-05:00

I went to the flea market yesterday! I have new goodies. I will post pictures soon!

Anna

2010-01-22T18:21:00.003-06:00

Anna and I had dinner together at Hy-Vee the other night. She is a delightful, if not challenging adult daughter. I had fun taking these pictures with my cell phone.

For Dieter and Rainer

2009-12-02T06:26:00.005-06:00

Dear Dieter and Rainer,

I hope you are enjoying your advent calendar. I have one too.

Lawrence has lots of fun things to do at Christmas. This Saturday I am going to a Christmas parade. And EVERY YEAR Santa crashes on the roof of the Weaver's Department store here in Lawrence. He did it again last Friday! Can you believe it? The Fire Department had to come with their ladder truck and get him down. This year I took a picture with my camera phone so I could share it with you.

Hope you are having a fun Christmas season!

Kansas is very beautiful

2009-11-16T16:48:00.002-06:00

I've been seeing lots of the Kansas countryside recently. And based on my previous experience, I would have told you that it was sort of dull. But I now know that it is in fact very beautiful and amazingly diverse.

This is a photo of Pomona Lake. It is a great photo except that it really was more sunny than the photo shows. I walked along the rocks from just beyond that point all the way to the ramp. I was very proud of myself when I actually saw what I had done.

Fall

2009-10-30T09:23:00.002-05:00

These pictures were taken from a place called Four States Lookout in White Cloud, KS. It's one of my new favorite places.

Let's hear it for balloon rides

2009-09-13T09:25:00.002-05:00

What a very fabulous thing, even if you skip the actual balloon ride.

Here's my kudos to romance and longevity - Happy 60th Anniversary to my Aunt Dot & Uncle Thad and to Mary & Jack Davidson.

Maybe, just maybe, there is hope for me.

The boy I love right now

2009-08-21T18:33:00.003-05:00

I am in one of my very favorite places again. Last night Deiter told Mary Beth "I love you mommy and I love your friend too." There is nothing more pure than the love of a 4 year old boy.

Equally enjoyable is his toddler brother, the most articulate 2 year old I've ever met.

Waves of grief

2009-07-31T13:55:00.011-05:00

I'm sort of moved into my new little house with the purple door and wood floors. I'm am still caught off guard by the grief that staggers me from time to time. It comes in the unpacking, the contemplation of buying a new sofa and with the understanding that Mark is very much moving on. He is in a place I've been before. I'm not there now. I can't even really begin to contemplate dating. I've signed up for one online dating site but I have no idea what I would say to anyone about anything. It isn't a surprise that Mark and I are not on the same page with moving on. We have never achieved any kind of synchronicity. I am sad. I don't have the insulation of having to rear children either. I don't even have a dog. And I'm a bit lost. I've always seen a clear path before me. Probably because there were fewer choices. I feel like the ability to go to graduate school has been stolen from me.

So, what now...

More tears, I'm sure. Also, a new shower curtain, a couple of new dishes, a new sofa soon and a trip to California.

In the meantime, the cat and I have a new view.

My new life

2009-07-12T08:53:00.005-05:00

While I'm in California, I get to actually take time to think about what is to come.

Here is the front door of the new house I've rented. I move-in August 1st.

When I moved I went through a mountain of paper, 26 years worth. I'm sending out the address of my new life on postcards made from the cards of my past.

Recycling at its best.

One of my very favorite places

2009-07-12T08:44:00.008-05:00

At my friend Mary Beth's, soaking up the love!

And drinking GOOD coffee!

My 4th of July Weekend

2009-07-03T08:51:00.011-05:00

I cannot begin to express how difficult the last eight weeks have been. I have experienced a sorrow that I didn't think possible. A couple of weeks ago, I put off my much needed California vacation I was planning for this weekend and agreed to accompany my mom, whose 70th birthday is Monday, to Colorado to visit her best friend from high school. I think it is going to turn out okay though. My mom and I had a great drive down and it is absolutely beautiful and peaceful here. These are a few pictures of the back patio area that I've taken with my laptop.
I'll post more photos later.

Lois Gunter 1915-2009

2009-06-07T19:37:00.002-05:00

Mark's grandmother, Lois Gunter, died today. She was 94. Here is a picture of her and PA (Preston Albert, died 1990) on their 50th anniversary. Lois welcomed me from day one into her family. I think it is part of what maintained me during hard times over many years. I will miss her very much.

Here in my life

2009-06-07T09:17:00.007-05:00

Divorce final May 21st. Mark and I are still very good friends. He's gone back to Virgina for now.

Lois, Mark's grandmother, and one of my very favorite people, has been in declining health for many months. She made it all the way to her 94th birthday and a little past before the worst of her ill health descended. She is now in the St. Francis end of life unit. Mark will be back soon for her funeral I'm afraid. I'm a better person for having known Lois Gunter.

Starting Monday, I will supervise a department of 15. Work is challenging.

Nathan started law school. Anna graduated high school May 23rd. She will attend KU in the fall. I will devote an entire post to her graduation in the future. In the meantime here are some prom pictures from earlier in May.

Thank you Dr. George Tiller

2009-05-31T14:23:00.002-05:00

Dr. Tiller was shot and killed while attending church this morning.

Rest in peace and thank you for your service to women in Kansas and through your fearless commitment, to women everywhere.

Happy Mother's Day

2009-05-10T13:25:00.001-05:00

I seem to lack pictures of my mother and I but here is a picture of her when she is within a couple years of the same age I am now. And at the age I am now, I understand.

Happy Mother's Day Mom!

A work of fiction based on the news...

2009-05-01T07:40:00.002-05:00

I had to laugh out loud when I heard Janet Napolitano on NPR this morning saying that if they had closed the schools it meant that you should keep your children at home. I am not in an area that has closed schools but I imagine protests from parents and conversations with their teenagers that go something like this…

Parent to self: “Sure Janet…I’ve told my teenager… “DON’T SMOKE...it will give you lung cancer, it smells AND it’s expensive; DON’T DRINK AND DO DRUGS...you’ve seen your Uncle, the reasons why should be obvious; USE CONDOMS...look at your cousin. Yes, I know the baby is cute, that’s beside the point.”

...Now you want me to tell them not to leave the house because school is closed...

Parent to teenager: “No. You can’t go out. The schools are closed because of the SWINE FLU outbreak. I don’t care if your boyfriend’s parents are letting him leave the house. Maybe they want him to get Swine Flu (maybe I want him to get Swine Flu). No, I have to go to work. Swine flu won’t pay the mortgage. Yes, you can eat the frozen pizza with bacon. No, I don’t think the bacon is from Egypt; you’re doing well in your current events class then? Can you go out if you take the recycling to the Mart? (Hmmm...Clean garage? Swine flu? Clean garage? Swine flu??? Hmmmm.) Yes, BUT BUY SOME FACE MASKS WHILE YOU’RE THERE! And some Sharpies. You and your friends can decorate them and show them to your art teacher when school starts up again.”

Sorry, I don't mean to laugh. But failing economy, swine flu, teenagers...as they say, laughter is the best medicine.

Spring at last...sort of

2009-04-24T22:29:00.006-05:00

Well, at the beginning of the week the heat kicked on because it was so cold. Then yesterday it broke 80 degrees and today the high was 85. So, unless the predicted temperatures of 76 and below actually happen in the next few days, I'd say we've moved straight on into summer. I totally need a pedicure.

On a more fun note, I have been given some stemware and other items by my father's first wife. (That's a REALLY LONG post for the future.)

Here are two of my favorite items, though the pictures, just taken with my cell phone, aren't great.

There are three of these glasses...

And this very pretty blue creamer...

Where is spring?!?!

2009-04-06T20:39:00.003-05:00

The weather here in Kansas has been sort of (and more than sort of!) cold. The only good part of that is that I have more time to get a pedicure! Any of my ten readers have any good packing tips?

I like it well enough

2009-02-26T19:41:00.004-06:00

So, my daughter is sick and asleep at 7:45 and I am taking full advantage of unfettered access to the internet. I'm reading blogs. Or rather I was reading blogs. I much prefer the reading of blogs over posting on my own blog. And tonight, with all this internet time, after I finished reading my usual blogs, I went on the hunt for something else to read. I started with the news sites I look at: BBC, CNN and Lawrence's own LJWorld. Then I checked my email, a Yahoo account. And, maybe it was on the Yahoo news, a story about GOOP caught my attention.

GOOP is Gwyneth Paltrow's blog. Apparently, it has a lot of critics. Who is she to blog!?! Her advise is bad! That sort of thing. In any case, I checked it out and I like it well enough.

It isn't fancy. But hey, we can't all be Heather Armstrong, a web designer by trade before she made her living from a blog. The content is no more or less exciting than most of the other blogs I read. GOOP makes some endorsements of books and has a list of cool gifts like Mighty Girl started. I even found a pair of reasonably priced, $175, cuff links. If I had $175 to spend on cuff links, I'd definitely buy them! She also has some content on parenting that seems, and my children are 23 and 17, perfectly reasonable and sane.

My favorite blog is still the one authored by my friend Mary Beth. I think it is better written and has better photography than GOOP. But who cares? Blogs are like TV or radio; if you don't like it, don't read it, watch it or listen to it. I read blogs I like. I like the blogs of people I am connected to and blogs such as American Corespondent, with whom I have absolutely no connection, share very little in common and which I found entirely by accident. I read it because it is a different perspective from my own, and THAT is interesting.

I have 15 blogs bookmarked. Two are written by me. I read them nearly everyday. Some have new posts and some don't. I like them all for very different reasons. And despite the criticism, I've added GOOP. After all, Gwyneth Paltrow updates her blog fairly regularly. That makes for good reading.

GOOP probably doesn't NEED me as a reader. After all, it's a blog belonging to a very famous person (whose name I hope I've spelled correctly). My advise to Gwyneth Paltrow, though; ignore the critics. You GOOP girl! I've got you bookmarked.

Old Age

2009-02-08T19:22:00.000-06:00

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

2009

2009-01-01T13:52:00.000-06:00

May your year be the best possible!

Love you all!

Carrie

Back to Blogging

2008-12-15T19:14:00.004-06:00

Hi all of you blog readers – all 10 or so of you!

I have had a long summer and fall. I’m not sure how much I want to share. Or rather write. Call me, and I’ll tell you most all of the details. I am more of a talker than writer. But I love to read. And I love to read blogs and find myself disappointed when the posts are few and far between (or not at ALL Faith Carol!). Also, writing on my blog was/is a good discipline for me. I am not good with follow through and starting a post, generally means, finishing a post. I do get some satisfaction out of that.

I keep trying to divide the last few months into good and bad categories but life is far too complicated for that. So, I think I am going to use interesting/exciting and boring/tiresome.

Interesting/Exciting

I was on the radio three times during the election season representing the League of Women Voters of which I am the current local President. I had never been on the radio before. Here is a link to the first of the shows if you feel so compelled. You have to use the box on the right to get to the show. I am on September 15^th, the first link I think. I really enjoyed this and think I might enjoy being a radio personality.
I have seen a counselor/therapist off and on for the last seven years and I saw him more times this past summer and fall than all of years previous. (He’s leaving this practice and so I won’t see him again. In any case, I was starting to sound boring even to myself. See under Boring.)
The LWV helped pass a sales tax initiative to support our local public transportation system ~ 70-30%! (LWV is generally VERY opposed to sales tax because it is regressive. We have a long history of supporting public transportation and were instrumental in getting a local system in place to begin with and didn’t want to see it defunded.) There are very few elections that have a 70-30% victory spread. It was a nice mandate after a lot of hard work by the LWV and another local grassroots group. I moderated a very informative forum on this issue that I wish we would have had recorded. It related a lot of great information on many aspects of city government and public transportation.
I moderated a forum for the Students of Liberty at KU. They are Libertarians. It was great fun and very interesting. My daughter and Moritz –see next item- submitted a question regarding Zombies. It was accidentally submitted but entertaining none-the-less.
Our family, that being Anna & I for the most part, hosted a German exchange student for about 5 weeks. Moritz was a delight to have in our home and it made me realize how much I miss having boys around.
Anna spent six weeks in Germany early in June. I really missed her and it was a good insight into what life will be like when she is gone. That will go under boring.
I broke up and then got back together with my husband. This is still a touchy part of my life. In fact, we are together at the moment but it feels very delicate. This should also be posted under boring and tiresome. I used to say that Mark and I had been together off and on for 25 years. Now I say Mark and I have been breaking up off and on for 25 years. It is hard to determine if we are in a successful relationship or a failing relationship. I have my own culpability in the situation and in fact one of the previous break-ups came three plus years ago when I told Mark I wanted a divorce. We did not get divorced. This time around the split has been more of something he wants. I want to be married. My motives are sometimes entirely selfish and not about being in love. But after 25 years, a relationship becomes so much more than just about being in love. This summer has been emotionally tumultuous for me. No doubt for Mark as well. Some of the things sent me swimming in waters that I have carefully spent my entire adult life avoiding. I went without a lifejacket and remembered what I’ve always known: that no matter what, I’ll be ok. There are about 10 sentences in the above paragraph that I would like to expand on but that is for another day.
I got to go to California and visit my friend Mary Beth and her family. They kept me sane and grounded during one of the worst moments of the last 6 months. I will be forever grateful to MB, her family and especially her parents who helped make the trip possible with 24 hours notice. And to Mastercard. See below.
Nathan coached 8^th grade football at one of the local junior highs and had a winning season. Congratulations Coach. He also took the LSAT. Mom’s proud!
Anna’s the Co-Director of the school musical, Guys and Dolls. Mom’s proud! For more on Anna –see below.
A new member of my family entered the world. Welcome Jamison Harlan.
And last, a new member of my family will enter the world in late May. Welcome to you baby.

Boring/Tiresome

No matter what the situation, you can only talk it through so many times. It starts to sound really boring and you never get any closer to understanding what happened or why. Sometimes, stuff just happens.
I hired and fired one Administrative Assistant.
I don’t always like being the boss.
One should not max out a brand new credit card in less than 45 days no matter what is going on in ones life. But see above.
Anna’s grades continue to go down and up. And up and down.

I am finding my Christmas cheer. I miss having Mary Beth to plan with. The children are older, and planning isn’t really as necessary. So, it is hard for me to get started. This year it is hard for me to get into it at all. I feel pretty lonely. The kids are busy, Mark is in Virginia and also busy. I am really, really looking forward to having this past year be over. And who knows what’s in store for 2009. Whatever, I’ll be ok.

How we know for sure that Baby Boomers are getting older

2008-11-25T06:22:00.003-06:00

These are POP-TARTS by the way.

VOTE FOR ME!!!

2008-10-04T20:51:00.003-05:00

You have to scroll down a little. And the page changes - I posted on September 28th. Thanks!

http://www.needatechmakeover.com/page/26/

New Holiday!

2008-08-04T18:00:00.001-05:00

I declare today the first ever annual Mail a Package Day! Today I mailed two packages, one 6 months over due and the other too long to remember! Henceforth, every August 4^th should be celebrated by mailing something long overdue and then enjoying the giddiness that follows such an incredible accomplishment.

What I do for fun

2008-07-23T07:01:00.005-05:00

I enjoy politics and policy making. I don't always enjoy party politics. So about eight years ago I joined the League of Women Voters. It gives me the chance to be fiercely patriotic, to take part in thoughtful study of an issue, to encourage others to participate and to hang out with some of the smartest, coolest women (and men!) around. Check it out:

www.lwv.org

And register to vote. And then vote.

I share well with others

2008-07-20T21:27:00.003-05:00

I've always wanted to put that on my resume.

Anyway, Amy at Gift of Green nominated me for a blogging button. Very exciting. I got it because I comment on her blog. I've been delinquent in both posting and commenting. But as is appropriate, I am passing it on. So, my first ever blogging button goes to (drum roll) (as if it is a surprise)...

Salt and Chocolate

American Correspondent - I've posted on her blog though I don't know if she's posted on mine.

and

Lies by Doc - who is both fortunate and unfortunate enough to be my very talented cousin. So, he's obligated to post on my blog occasionally.

As per the request, I am linking to this post which is about organ donation and transplant. I am privileged to know this family and Addison is waiting on a liver transplant.

If you aren't already, consider being an organ donor.

I did it! Sort of.

2008-07-20T18:00:00.004-05:00

I joined Gift of Green's Clothesline Challenge. And thanks to Amy, my other green friend Mary Beth, one dusty blanket and the 110 degree heat index in Lawrence, I've been a little kinder to Mother Earth today. The clothes pins crumbled in my hands, so it's just kind of thrown over the line. Small steps.

My new friend, a famous and upcoming journalist

2008-07-01T20:59:00.000-05:00

I just had an incredible diner at Lamia Zia's house. She is a journalist from Pakistan. Here is an article she's written. Look for her blog coming soon !

Six Unspectacular Quirks

2008-06-29T11:33:00.000-05:00

Sorry I've been away so long. Thanks for all the comments about Nathan's graduation. June ends in one day. It was a long month and I will post more about that another day. Here's to catching up and getting one more thing off my to do list.

1. I like to eat my cereal out of cups (not mugs).

I bought these cups at a cool vintage thrift store in Portland.

2. I obsessively prefer Puffs to other tissue. (And no one at my office will forget it very soon and they laugh at me.)

3. I love stationary. I don't like to write much, not even letters.

4. I like to buy lotion. I have two kinds on my desk at work and a variety around the house in various rooms.

5. 3 is the magic number. I decide something, change my mind and then go back to the original decision. So wait for the third thing I say.

6. I don't like the skin of my knees touching when I sleep. I don't know if that is left over from being pregnant and sleeping with a pillow between my knees but I have to have long pjs or a sheet between my knees to fall asleep.

Yippee! Now what's next on the list...

Not a quirk

2008-05-26T09:46:00.000-05:00

I have been tagged to post a "Six Unspectacular Quirks" meme, which I will accomplish soon. But I felt like I should post my most recent not-a-quirk. This is more the result of sustained and deliberate effort over 22 years, initially undertaken when I was just 20, the result of a spectacular quirk. I'm very proud. Nathan graduated from Grinnell on May 19th, completing a double major in Political Science and Psychology, in just 7 semesters. I am very, very proud.

Here are a couple of pictures.

And from the journey,
I'm really VERY, VERY, VERY PROUD!

Prom

2008-05-10T18:49:00.000-05:00

Anna got her dress yesterday. She has her father's sense of "no hurry" despite the reality of time.

Anna, Stephanie,
Katherine and Kristen. Also Colby & Matthew.

Bragging Rights

2008-04-24T21:49:00.000-05:00

Anna got a 32 (out of 36) on her ACT (college entrance exam of sorts). Without studying.

And she translated some of "Rehab" by Amy Winehouse into German. Nein, Nein, Nein.

I'm not sure which one makes me prouder.

Messing around with pictures

2008-04-11T22:30:00.001-05:00

I'm experimenting with my profile picture. I admire the pictures on different blogs I read. I am not that photogenic nor am I a great photographer. I'm interested in finding just the right one but I'm not there yet. So, let me know if there is one you particularly like.

Yes!

2008-04-08T09:37:00.000-05:00

ROCK CHALK JAYHAWK!

Yippee!!

In Memphis
(These are links to the Lawrence-Journal World newspaper. Their site is busy! Keep trying.)
In Lawrence

Because I listened to the game on the radio, I am enjoying the pictures. Here are more.

April

2008-04-06T11:19:00.000-05:00

I am so happy that Spring is finally here!

March was a long month. Rainer got sick just after I was in California. That was the very end of February.

Then March started.

I had my own set of health problems that were not life threatening but they lasted all month and drained me of my energy. They are somewhat resolved and I am temporarily on blood pressure medication.

Mid-month, I reached my one-year anniversary in my new position at work as Director of Resident Services at the Lawrence-Douglas County Housing Authority. I have to say it has been one of the hardest but most rewarding experiences I have had. We were awarded all the HUD grants I applied for; I had people resign, quit and just walk-out (that was a really hard one) and I had people stay who supported me and our program and I couldn't be more grateful. I've hired great new staff and I survived the year with all their support. I love my staff. Here they are trying to get a bag out of a tree. I admit that I didn't think that it could be done, and it couldn't, but Deirdre said we should try, Chris was willing and Steve went out to provide support. I stood inside laughing, taking pictures and being grateful.

March brought an earlier Easter and Spring Break. Nathan went to Miami and got my camera wet so my pictures will come from my cell phone for awhile. (Including the one above. Not too bad really.) He was at home for a week after Miami and was really helpful while I was sick.

March ended with the Jayhawks getting into the final four.

And that brings April with good news for Rainer, a bit of warm weather

and one daffodil (in a yard that needs some attention!). And I won a drawing from Amy at Gift of Green. I'm very excited to get my book.

It has also brought a great visit with my cousin Nick from California. I hadn't seen him since I was 15. He, his mom and grandmother are spending a week in Wichita at my grandmother's. I drove down to see him and also saw two of my other cousins, Holly and Kelly. (As well as getting to hang out with my sister Audrey, due to have a baby yesterday!) I had so much fun. Nick, (who I call Nicky and he calls me Carrie Beth) may move back to Wichita. Maybe that will prompt me to take the 2 1/2 drive down more often. Our family has had its share of family drama so we don't get together all that often. Most of the drama belongs more to the parents than the cousins and our kids are all near grown, so maybe we will have more time to nurture those relationships. (I'll post some very amusing pictures as soon as I get them!)

And finally April brings VICTORY! We beat North Carolina, mostly Roy, very soundly. I am not one who was upset about him leaving KU. As a former Employment Specialist, I understood that sometimes you have to change jobs. But because it's the Tar Heels coached by Roy Williams, the victory was that much sweeter. Nathan just stopped by the house to trade his friend's Jeep in for my Toyota Yaris and they are off to San Antonio to see if KU can go all the way.

I hope there is much more April goodness to come.

"The Greatness and the Goodness of Our Nation"

2008-03-19T19:23:00.000-05:00

This speech is THE SPEECH of my lifetime. I encourage you to listen.

Having a plan

2008-03-15T10:16:00.000-05:00

Rainer is home! Mary Beth is very positive and ready to get on with it.

She and I are very different in many aspects of our personality. She is an incredible nurturer. I am a below average nurturer. I am outgoing and she is more introspective. One way in which we are both alike is that we react by, for lack of a better explanation, having a plan. Though I am very much "ask questions" and Mary Beth is more "wait and see", once we know we both want to move onto the next thing.

So, she's staying at home with Rainer for the next 8 weeks and is thinking about a daily schedule. I think that the day should include some reading. Lots of Boynton. Moo, Baa, La La La! And Boynton has a new website with stuff to do!

Everything is going well

2008-03-09T10:54:00.000-05:00

I talked to Mary Beth last night. Rainer will actually get to come home Wednesday. He will still have to go up to Santa Barbara for weekly treatments. Mary Beth seemed very well given the circumstances. She's tired but really positive. They've given Rainer an 85-90% chance for total remission which is fantastic.

Mary Beth said she had a conversation with one of the nurses who said that just 50 years ago if your child was diagnosed with Leukemia, they just sent you home to wait it out. Despite the sometime harms and horridness of the insurance and pharmaceutical industries, THANK GOD FOR MODERN MEDICINE!

This will probably be my last update unless something changes dramatically. Thanks to all who read and those who posted. It's a nice little blogging community and maybe I will try to post more often.

Update

2008-03-06T13:07:00.000-06:00

Rainer has started chemo. Mary Beth's parents having been keeping Dieter. They were all able to go up to the hospital yesterday to visit. Carol, Mary Beth's mom, was happy to see that Rainer recognized her and did his "no" head shake like he does when Ken and Mary Beth drop him off for babysitting. In situations like this, even reject is heartwarming.

Dieter is doing very well staying with his grandparents. I am sending him this Hippo that I bought at Ikea on my visit. I bought it for my office. But Dieter and I had a good time playing with it so I am sending Hippo to keep him company.

It sounds like Rainer will be in the hospital for at least the next two weeks. I will try to post updates when I get them. I am an action oriented person. Being able to post on the blog has at least provided me with the illusion that I'm doing something. Thank you to everyone who is posting on my blog and on Mary Beth's.

Chemo Starts Today

2008-03-04T07:27:00.000-06:00

Dear Little Rainer - You are better than this thing. As they fill your beautiful little body with these big bad fighting chemicals, remember that you have to come through. Picture it as walking through the cloudy, firey battlefield to your mama and "eursy" waiting on the other side. Let the fighting wage on because those chemicals have to do their job. But don't let them draw you into the battle. You bring your soul and little body past the battle. Hugs to you, your mama and daddy.

Rainer

2008-03-02T07:40:00.000-06:00

This adorable little guy has been diagnosed with Leukemia. Please keep Rainer, Mary Beth, Ken and the rest of the children in your thoughts and prayers while they undertake the monumental task of healing little Rainer.

Mary Beth really loves her blogging community and I am sure she will post again when she has the time and strength. In the meantime, please send her your thoughts and good wishes. I briefly searched for a blog for parents of children with cancer but didn't find one. If anyone can find one, please send Mary Beth the link.

Fight little guy. Fight.

For all of you who read Salt and Chocolate

2008-02-29T18:48:00.000-06:00

For all of you who read Mary Beth's blog, Salt and Chocolate, I asked her if I could post her news. Rainer has been sick. I don't know all of the details but they are now at a hospital in Santa Barbara having some tests run. Please keep her and her family in your thoughts.

Back Home

2008-02-20T10:39:00.000-06:00

Lawrence is very cold!

I had a great trip though!

Sunny California!!!

2008-02-16T18:24:00.000-06:00

I am having such a great time!

THE SUN IS SHINING HERE!

Look at these cute children and Mary Beth is making PIE!

Passion Girl

2008-02-15T07:30:00.000-06:00

Anna looked super cute for Valentine's Day!

LHS has a big variety show at the end of the year. One group that Anna is in is doing David Bowie's "Changes" and she's dressing up to match.

She is having so much more fun than I ever had in high school. I'm very proud of her.

Passion Woman

2008-02-14T08:13:00.000-06:00

I'm off today in preparation to go visit Mary Beth in California - I'm so excited!!! At Mary Beth's suggestion (and because I have the time) I'm going to tell the story of Passion Woman. Back in 1996 or 1997 (I can't believe it's been over 10 years!) I started using Passion Woman to celebrate Valentine's Day. It came about for two reasons. First, I had so many female friends and co-workers who either didn't get Valentines from their honeys or who were single. Second, my daughter had asked me (in so many words) how come all holiday gift givers were male...even the Easter Bunny is portrayed as a boy. So, Passion Woman was born.

Passion Woman brings gifts that inspire your passion for life. For my friends, it was a balloon, a chocolate and a Valentine's Day wish. One year I made little notebooks, one year I gave out candles and one of my favorites was a magnet with the quote "Only passions, great passions, can elevate the soul to great things" Denis Diderot (1713-1784).

For my children, it was an ice cream scoop, a cool broom with a decorated handle for inspiring soaring through life. Stuff like that. My husband Mark became "Bobo the Valentine Swine" and my Valentine's Day gift was always being able to spend the money I wanted to be Passion Woman.

It was so fun. The first year there were about 12 recipients for Passion Woman gifts. I think the most passion ever disseminated was for 30. I ordered balloons, bought chocolates and just enjoyed the creativity of coming up with ideas. On Valentine's Day I got up very early and delivered to the gals I didn't work with. Anna became my trusty sidekick, Passion Girl.

Unfortunately, the last few years have been less passionate. I don't really know why. Last year my long-time supervisory had given notice and there was a lot of turmoil surrounding that and I didn't have much spare energy. After spending a year in my new job (the one vacated) I still don't have much spare energy. But I've spent the last several days sharing stories about Passion Woman and her adventures. And Anna saved the day today by dressing in a delightful red dress and armed with Valentines and went off to school as Passion Girl. So, despite her sabbatical, I think Passion Woman will live on.

Happy Valentine's Day ~ may you find soul elevating passion!

Farewell Heath...

2008-01-22T20:05:00.001-06:00

I am very sad about Heath Ledger.

Martin Luther King, Jr. Day

2008-01-21T15:16:00.000-06:00

"Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to open the doors of opportunity to all of God’s children. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood."

Martin Luther King, Jr
Washington D.C.
August 28, 1963

Now, January 21, 2008, would be a good time also.

The heartbreak of our children

2008-01-19T08:41:00.000-06:00

Being a parent is so hard. The time commitment and physical exhaustion alone equal horrendous. But NOTHING is worse than having to guide your child through heartbreak and disappointment. Nathan had his fair share in both high school and college. (I'll post about all that later.) But this time it's Anna's tears that bring on my own.

They are replacing the Color Guard at Lawrence High with a dance team. My little Anna is a marcher not a dancer. As one of two returning seniors next year, she would have been Team Captain. And she is heartbroken. I have offered her dance lessons, even instrument lessons since the reason she joined Color Guard, just this past fall, was to hang out with her band friends. We are also going to look into her getting to practice with the KU Guard. But for now all I can do is offer comfort for her grief and it doesn't seem like enough.

She was pretty good too. Here is a little video from the show for the parents at the end of band camp. She's second from the left, in braids. She'd been at it about 3 weeks.

The Holiday Season

2008-01-13T12:49:00.000-06:00

As I didn't post during the holidays, I thought I would just put some pictures up.

Anna as Oscar Wilde for Halloween.

Winter Formal with Kristen, Paige (who made her dress!) and Anna.

Coach Grizz

Christmas
and my dog...

Harry Potter makes you very smart!

2007-10-09T16:44:00.000-05:00

If you look at the Harry Potter Party picture in the previous blog, you will see Stephanie. She is wearing the purple shirt and black cape. Here she is in a very fine pig nose. (That's her brother Matt behind her.)

Read about her here http://www2.ljworld.com/news/2007/oct/09/star_qualities/

She's very smart! Congratulations Stephanie! (You also Kaye & Chris!)

A picture's worth a 1000 words

2007-10-03T14:31:00.000-05:00

So let me speak volumes...

Anna just after a Color Guard event - Band Day

Harry Potter Party. We love Harry Potter!

Nathan then, last year and now...

Mark and Anna this summer. I love summer.

I love my job...Camp 2007

I love my dog...for my feelings about my cat see past blog.

The Kansas Farmer's Market

2007-08-18T16:53:00.000-05:00

Anna, Mark and I have gone to the Lawrence Farmer's Market several times this summer. The only other farmer's market I go to on a regular basis is the one in Ojai, CA with my friend Mary Beth. http://saltandchocolate.blogspot.com/2007/04/carries-visit.html

A California farmer's market is different from a Kansas farmer's market. In Ojai there are fresh fruits, vegetables and flowers. In Lawrence there's meat. Fresh baked Mennonite biscuits with a delicious slab of Mennonite sausage.

There are also Mennonite pies. And pork rinds of unknown denomination. Which is not to say there are not the traditional fruits, vegetables and flowers. Well actually, I haven't seen any fruit yet but I did buy two lovely, yet non-traditional, purple tomatoes.

There's also local honey and demonstrations on how to make fishing lures.

At the Wichita Farmer's Market, where we were visiting recently, you can buy wigs and art.

In Kansas, what we lack in vegetation, we make up for in creativity.

August and the like

2007-08-09T13:10:00.000-05:00

It is so hot in Kansas. But of course. It's August.

I have had a really busy month. Mark is here from Virginia. I submitted another grant, the last for this HUD grant season. And the Resident Services Office (my office) took 13 kids to an overnight camp. I've had two days off and am finally sitting down to post. Just a little post though.

Learning to blog

2007-07-24T20:09:00.000-05:00

I am trying to post pictures. I am having a hard time adjusting the size of the picture as it was downloaded off of my camera to a size that will fit on the blog page well. Anna has spent a better part of the year taking photos of her feet. Here is a picture of our feet. Let's see how it looks.

Good at Life

2007-07-20T10:07:00.000-05:00

My friend Mary Beth sent me the best package which included a little zipper purse that she made. (One day I'll start posting pictures.)

When I showed the package to Anna she said "Mary Beth's just good at life isn't she."

Yes, she is.

My bulimic cat

2007-07-17T20:35:00.000-05:00

My cat likes to eat and then throw-up. It is annoying but we've had the cat for about 9 years and it has really just become part of the fabric of our lives. Because she is bulimic she often feels that it is appropriate to eat at 2 o'clock in the morning. Because of that, she usually sleeps in the garage with her food and cat box. If you forget to put her out she comes to the bedroom (read that MY bedroom) and demands to be let out. Her demands come in the form of annoying mewling or, even worse, she moves the door back and forth with her paw. Someone moving your bedroom door at 2am wakes you rather quickly.

Recently the temperature in Lawrence has been 100+ degrees. So, kind cat owner that I am, I moved the cat inside. That involved bringing in the cat box and the food bowl. She drinks out of the dog's water dish. Speaking of the dog, the cat's food bowl has to be kept at a level so as not to be reached by the dog. So, it is on the dining room table. (Not to worry, we hardly ever use the table for eating OUR meals. It serves mostly as a desk .)

Which brings me back to the cat. The bulimic, I need to eat at 2am, and then puke cat. It turns out that the cat's demands to be let into the garage are not about getting TO the food.

Because even though the food is inside, the cat is still waking me up so I can ESCORT HER TO THE DINING ROOM TABLE. She better hope the temperature breaks soon.

My new blog

2007-07-13T11:57:00.000-05:00

My lovely daughter, Anna, feels I should have a blog of my own. So I can have a place to b*tch about my children and work. And thus, it begins....

Today, Anna, questioned the placement of the * in the word bitch. As if I ever cuss.